Cruel nicknames

[derek kelly]

What’s the cruellest nickname you’ve heard.
Brother in law used to frequent a pub in Leeds, we went with him a couple of times & on most evenings a lad with downs syndrome used to collect glasses, as he came to our table Bev asked him his name, she thought he said “fly Tony” so from then on she called him “Tony” Brother in law smirked & when Bev went to powder her nose he told me the lad’s nickname was “flight only” as he wasn’t the full package, I never told Bev.

 

[Jaws]

Around 1967 there was a girl in our crowd who was only ever known as flat nose or flatty
She was prone to fits and when one struck she would fall flat on here face..
What was really sad was one night we were travelling in a transit van with the doors open... She had a fit and fell out the back
The bus behind stood no chance of missing her and killed her ..
Plod was called and thought we was a right bunch of arseholes..
The only name we could give was flat nose and in all honesty no one could stop giggling over it either..

 

[Malone]

I used to know a lad we called Scribble because he couldn’t read or write.

Then there was Budgie with a conk like a parrot.

 

[Cougar377]

When I was a kid a local family adopted two black boys who were originally from the Caribbean. One was called Fred and the other was George. Unfortunately for George, Roots was on TV at the time so you can guess what he was known as at school. A lot of the little kids used to run around making clucking noises at him but he took it in good stead.

I suspect there would be hell to pay if it happened today.

 

[Centaur]

When I joined a new squadron I kept hearing peeps mentioning someone called "Instant hate". When I asked I was told he was on leave but I would know him when he came back, A few days later this lad I hadn't seen before came into the crewroom. I took one look and thought "I don't like the look of you". He, of course was "Instant hate" and I never met a nicer guy when I got to know him. He knew of his nickname but wasn't offended. Imagine that today. Like a black lad whose nickname was Snowy. Peeps today are far too offended for other people.

 

[Bluelagoona]

There was a driver I used to work with who had the nickname of Thrush.
Spending any time in his company soon revealed the reason for his nickname... he was an irritating c# nt !

 

[Cougar377]

When I joined a new squadron I kept hearing peeps mentioning someone called "Instant hate". When I asked I was told he was on leave but I would know him when he came back, A few days later this lad I hadn't seen before came into the crewroom. I took one look and thought "I don't like the look of you". He, of course was "Instant hate" and I never met a nicer guy when I got to know him. He knew of his nickname but wasn't offended. Imagine that today. Like a black lad whose nickname was Snowy. Peeps today are far too offended for other people.

We had a Flight Sergeant Hunt on one squadron. Known universally as Hunt the C*nt. And he was.

 

[Squag1]

Line from Nevil Shute book.
He was called Harpic because he was clean around the bend

 

[JayTee]

We had a really nice black guy in the area who was in the local RAF camp, on leaving and marrying a local lass he took up artexing as a living, his nickname was reverse Dalmatian but as he said it only applied at the end of the working day when he was covered in white spots.
RIP Nick, one of the nicest guys I have ever known.

 

[Pow-Lo]

I knew of a guy called ‘Bungalow’ cos he had fuck all upstairs.

Also knew a guy called ‘Pontoon Eyes’ cos one stuck and the other twisted.

 

[Jaws]

I knew of a guy called ‘Bungalow’ cos he had fuck all upstairs.

Also knew a guy called ‘Pontoon Eyes’ cos one stuck and the other twisted.

My first wife was a bit like that.. I said she had football eyes.. Home and away ....

 

[Vinterceptor]

I don't know for sure but I suspect Cyclops knew his nickname, he was the stores manager (with a glass eye) at the firm where I served my apprenticeship.

 

[Jaws]

I don't know for sure but I suspect Cyclops knew his nickname, he was the stores manager (with a glass eye) at the firm where I served my apprenticeship.

Storeman at a fork truck repair place I worked at was known by one and all as Jasper. He thought it was because of his ginger/orange hair ( Jasper Carrot ) but it was after a Carrot sketch about a REALLY thick bloke in a shop

 

[derek kelly]

Couple of years ago we went for a tour of the Yorkshire mining museum, the guide was an ex miner & he introduced himself as kebab, as we got near the end of the tour he showed us a very large machine with large spikes on it, he told us that one day he was driving the machine & something jammed, he climbed over the front & it moved & one of the spikes rotated & skewered him entering by his shoulder & coming out of his groin, luckily avoiding major organs, when he eventually returned to work someone had removed his name from his locker & replaced it with kebab.

 

[Duck n Dive]

Boss of my team in work is referred to as the Torch.

He's supposed to assist/support us with the parts of the job he's got current competency for.

He never leaves the office chair.

The Olympic Torch - never goes out

Not exactly cruel though

 

[Malone]

Oh well, I suppose you can include “blister” he was the one who only turned up after the work was done.

 

[andyBeaker]

Nicknames can get very tedious - I worked with a bloke who for some reason thought I looked like David Bowie and called me ‘Bowie’ every two minutes for weeks on end. A less than quiet word put a stop that.

I worked with a chap who,was known as ‘cat flap’. Not going into it as I am not sure that the reason for this is legal......

 

[derek kelly]

I worked with a chap who,was known as ‘cat flap’. Not going into it as I am not sure that the reason for this is legal......

He was a dyslexic Yorkshireman & he wore one on his head