• Welcome to the new B.I.R.D. Forum. Please be sure to read the "New Member / New Registered ? Please Read" thread in the Coffee Shop. This contains some important information. To become a full member ( £5.90 a year ) simply click on your user name near the top on the right I hope you enjoy the new site ................ Jaws ( John )

Have a bitch Social distancing problems

slim63

Never surrender
Club Sponsor
There has been a few problems already mentioned but here is mine from earlier on today

I had to go shopping today & at the greengrocers they have sensible social distancing measures in place, plenty of signs up, tape marking out 2m on the floor & even someone ready to explain it all to the hard of thinking (complete with mask & gloves) (y)

All would be well you would think ? …………………. no, this shop is narrow with a one way system otherwise customers would be falling over each other at the best of times! So I enter keeping to the marked lines & its ok until some stupid bitch stands nattering on her phone right in front of what I want to buy, I stand calmly for a while then look round & see the queue forming behind me, it becomes obvious this daft bitch isn't moving any time soon so in my usual subtle way is shout OI SHIFT IT YOU DUMB COW ! finally she looks up ignores me & goes back to gobbing off on the phone :eek:

A sales assistant appears & asks her to move so the dumb cow does a sharp about face & barges past everyone in the queue going completely the wrong way, still on the phone :mad: ....................... Never before have I been seriously inclined to punch a woman but i'm pretty sure she doesn't know how close she came to being flattened

Small saggy tits Poo Plow :D
 

JayTee

Si vis pacem para bellum
Club Sponsor
There has been a few problems already mentioned but here is mine from earlier on today

I had to go shopping today & at the greengrocers they have sensible social distancing measures in place, plenty of signs up, tape marking out 2m on the floor & even someone ready to explain it all to the hard of thinking (complete with mask & gloves) (y)

All would be well you would think ? …………………. no, this shop is narrow with a one way system otherwise customers would be falling over each other at the best of times! So I enter keeping to the marked lines & its ok until some stupid bitch stands nattering on her phone right in front of what I want to buy, I stand calmly for a while then look round & see the queue forming behind me, it becomes obvious this daft bitch isn't moving any time soon so in my usual subtle way is shout OI SHIFT IT YOU DUMB COW ! finally she looks up ignores me & goes back to gobbing off on the phone :eek:

A sales assistant appears & asks her to move so the dumb cow does a sharp about face & barges past everyone in the queue going completely the wrong way, still on the phone :mad: ....................... Never before have I been seriously inclined to punch a woman but i'm pretty sure she doesn't know how close she came to being flattened

Small saggy tits Poo Plow :D


Carry a 12G no fecker comes within a mile.:camper:
 

Centaur

Site Pedant
Club Sponsor
Ok, I'll be the one to ask! What's a 12G, JT? :confused: Is it heavy to carry?
 

Minkey

Ok it was me
Club Sponsor
At work yesterday a customer started to approach me to ask a question, I started to back up trying to keep a safe distance between us, she just didn't get the message and even though we had marked out squares for people to stand in whilst waiting to pay, some people were going between them.
 

ogr1

I can still see ya.....
Club Sponsor
At work yesterday a customer started to approach me to ask a question, I started to back up trying to keep a safe distance between us, she just didn't get the message and even though we had marked out squares for people to stand in whilst waiting to pay, some people were going between them.

Sharp pointy stick required.
 

Pow-Lo

Make civil the mind, make savage the body.
Club Sponsor
At work yesterday a customer started to approach me to ask a question, I started to back up trying to keep a safe distance between us, she just didn't get the message and even though we had marked out squares for people to stand in whilst waiting to pay, some people were going between them.
Well? Did she?
 

derek kelly

The Deli lama
Club Sponsor
Get a large towel & corkscrew it round, wet the tip & if anyone comes within the distance flick them with it.
 

Pow-Lo

Make civil the mind, make savage the body.
Club Sponsor
There has been a few problems already mentioned but here is mine from earlier on today

I had to go shopping today & at the greengrocers they have sensible social distancing measures in place, plenty of signs up, tape marking out 2m on the floor & even someone ready to explain it all to the hard of thinking (complete with mask & gloves) (y)

All would be well you would think ? …………………. no, this shop is narrow with a one way system otherwise customers would be falling over each other at the best of times! So I enter keeping to the marked lines & its ok until some stupid bitch stands nattering on her phone right in front of what I want to buy, I stand calmly for a while then look round & see the queue forming behind me, it becomes obvious this daft bitch isn't moving any time soon so in my usual subtle way is shout OI SHIFT IT YOU DUMB COW ! finally she looks up ignores me & goes back to gobbing off on the phone :eek:

A sales assistant appears & asks her to move so the dumb cow does a sharp about face & barges past everyone in the queue going completely the wrong way, still on the phone :mad: ....................... Never before have I been seriously inclined to punch a woman but i'm pretty sure she doesn't know how close she came to being flattened

Small saggy tits Poo Plow :D
At last, a proper report! It’s only taken about eight years :meparto:

As for her, I am not a violent man, not by any stretch of the imagination, particularly man on woman. However, if ever a woman was asking for it then this one clearly was.
 

derek kelly

The Deli lama
Club Sponsor
If someone approaches you in a threatening manner you are lawfully allowed a pre-emptive strike. If you told her not to come near & she ignored you then I am sure you would be covered words to remember to say to the Police, I feared for my safety/life
 

ogr1

I can still see ya.....
Club Sponsor
If someone approaches you in a threatening manner you are lawfully allowed a pre-emptive strike. If you told her not to come near & she ignored you then I am sure you would be covered words to remember to say to the Police, I feared for my safety/life

I keep telling the contactors exactly that.
Because you haven't been trained in
fu man chu...kick feck out of em.
 

sr71caspar

B̶a̶n̶n̶e̶d̶
Club Sponsor
If someone approaches you in a threatening manner you are lawfully allowed a pre-emptive strike. If you told her not to come near & she ignored you then I am sure you would be covered words to remember to say to the Police, I feared for my safety/life

The other sentence worth remembering is "I used the minimum force necessary".
 

Squag1

Can't remember....
Club Sponsor
Father and son denied bail today after spitting on two police during a street drug search.

Several instances north and south.
Think someone up north got arrested too.
 
Top