• Welcome to the new B.I.R.D. Forum. Please be sure to read the "New Member / New Registered ? Please Read" thread in the Coffee Shop. This contains some important information. To become a full member ( £5.90 a year ) simply click on your user name near the top on the right I hope you enjoy the new site ................ Jaws ( John )

More Home injuries.

derek kelly

The Deli lama
Club Sponsor
Pah....you need to get out more.... :D

Fractured skull x 2
Broken nose x 2
Fractured cheekbone
Cracked eye socket
Broken jaw
Broken vertebrae x 3 - 2 at top of the spine fused + 1 mid back
Cracked collar bone - left side
Ribs - lost count
Fingers and thumbs - lost count
Hand bones (metacarpals) - left x 3
Toes x 4 - left foot
Broken lower arm - left x 1 , right x 1
Broken wrist - left x 1 , right x 2
Shattered left fib and tib
Broken ankle - left x 1, right x 1

Honourable mentions include - dislocated shoulder x 2, dislocated fingers and knuckles.


Forgot ribs, broken or cracked several times
 

Me!

Utterly retired
Club Sponsor
I caught my cock in my zip whilst trying to put it away pissed. It was that little piece of skin that secures the underside of the foreskin to the helmet. I was a late teenager at the time, never seen so much blood.

The real problem was that the cut in the skin was transverse so any tension across it (shagging, bashing one out) would result in the wound re-opening.

The problem was fixed a few years later in St. Thomas’ Hospital, London, with plastic surgery to realign the scar to run longitudinally. My claim to fame is that I was operated on by the only professor of plastics in the UK at the time.

And we need to know this...why? There’s something seriously wrong with you. As well as being bald and short.
 

Pow-Lo

Make civil the mind, make savage the body.
Club Sponsor
And we need to know this...why? There’s something seriously wrong with you. As well as being bald and short.
It’s a home injury thread, that’s why.

I didn’t buy your red ‘Bird or your daughter's French car, so there can’t be that much wrong with me. Baldy!
 

ogr1

I can still see ya.....
Club Sponsor
First time I was left home alone by parents I put myself in A&E opeining a tin of corned beef.

Can't remember exactly how many but tennish stitches in my thumb.

Chipped a kneecap stepping over a 12" tall wall. Never known pain like it.

That would be classed as child cruelty now. I mean, what parents would leave a starving child a tin of corned dog and no feckin tin opener.
 

Squag1

Can't remember....
Club Sponsor
Pah....you need to get out more.... :D

Fractured skull x 2
Broken nose x 2
Fractured cheekbone
Cracked eye socket
Broken jaw
Broken vertebrae x 3 - 2 at top of the spine fused + 1 mid back
Cracked collar bone - left side
Ribs - lost count
Fingers and thumbs - lost count
Hand bones (metacarpals) - left x 3
Toes x 4 - left foot
Broken lower arm - left x 1 , right x 1
Broken wrist - left x 1 , right x 2
Shattered left fib and tib
Broken ankle - left x 1, right x 1

Honourable mentions include - dislocated shoulder x 2, dislocated fingers and knuckles.
You should try opening doors before you go through them :rolleyes:

Or maybe you should have told them what they wanted to know:eek:
 

Cougar377

Express elevator to hell
Staff member
Moderator
Club Sponsor
You should try opening doors before you go through them :rolleyes:

Or maybe you should have told them what they wanted to know:eek:
When yer mum's a small red headed Scot you know discipline. :eek:
 

slim63

Never surrender
Club Sponsor
Pah....you need to get out more.... :D

Fractured skull x 2
Broken nose x 2
Fractured cheekbone
Cracked eye socket
Broken jaw
Broken vertebrae x 3 - 2 at top of the spine fused + 1 mid back
Cracked collar bone - left side
Ribs - lost count
Fingers and thumbs - lost count
Hand bones (metacarpals) - left x 3
Toes x 4 - left foot
Broken lower arm - left x 1 , right x 1
Broken wrist - left x 1 , right x 2
Shattered left fib and tib
Broken ankle - left x 1, right x 1

Honourable mentions include - dislocated shoulder x 2, dislocated fingers and knuckles.

And that was just making a brew .................... told you kitchens were dangerous places but would you listen .... :D
 

derek kelly

The Deli lama
Club Sponsor
I have just an inkling Dirk may, just may have mixed this up with work....
Confession, not many of my injuries occured at home, broken neck was when I was swimming for my bronze lifesaver’s badge, one of my broken ribs happened when I was reaching up for a flag during the sunset ceremony on HMS Hermes, broken nose & arm happened at the same time when I jumped off a nursery roof.
 

Malone

Been there, and had one
Club Sponsor
I’m now in a lot of pain, yesterday afternoon I lifted an empty wheelie bin over a 4 ft wall to save me from walking around it. I’ve tweaked a muscle in my abdomen and it’s giving me grief.
 

ianrobbo1

good looking AND modest
I’m now in a lot of pain, yesterday afternoon I lifted an empty wheelie bin over a 4 ft wall to save me from walking around it. I’ve tweaked a muscle in my abdomen and it’s giving me grief.
Over a month ago having had an operation last Christmas to repair a torn rota cuff I fell out of my wheelie bin, grabbed the washing line and tore the same shoulder as last time, they said I'll have to wait to see if it fixes itself this time, thank heavens for Tramadol !!
 

Cougar377

Express elevator to hell
Staff member
Moderator
Club Sponsor
Over a month ago having had an operation last Christmas to repair a torn rota cuff I fell out of my wheelie bin, grabbed the washing line and tore the same shoulder as last time, they said I'll have to wait to see if it fixes itself this time, thank heavens for Tramadol !!

Give us the details....:D
 
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