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More Home injuries.

ianrobbo1

good looking AND modest
I seem to have gotten over the cutting me to bits stage, now it seems burning is the new way to go, whilst cooking dinner for us, I managed to pick up the spud pan with a couple of fingers not covered by the tea towel, did it hurt ?? fek yus !! :( I'm just sat here feeling sorry for myself now and just wondering how many others have done similar dumb things, or is it "just me" :rolleyes: go on, dip yer bread!!
 

Jaws

Corporal CockUp
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Oh dear !
Though I suspect you idea of extreme dieting by cutting bits off your self is more down to stepping away from the power tools !
 

Minkey

Ok it was me
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I have a problem with doing the ironing as I always burn myself :(
 

Squag1

Can't remember....
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Once got steak on stone slab (bit of a gimmick). I left the fork on the slab while doing something. I proceeded to continue with meal and picked up the fork.

I dropped it very smartly :eek:
 

derek kelly

The Deli lama
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Once got steak on stone slab (bit of a gimmick). I left the fork on the slab while doing something. I proceeded to continue with meal and picked up the fork.

I dropped it very smartly :eek:
Do you mean you dropped it very tidily in the perfect position?
 

andyBeaker

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First time I was left home alone by parents I put myself in A&E opeining a tin of corned beef.

Can't remember exactly how many but tennish stitches in my thumb.

Chipped a kneecap stepping over a 12" tall wall. Never known pain like it.
 

slim63

Never surrender
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Accidents hmmm ............ had a few :( this is just a small selection

Stuck a Stanley knife through the web between my thumb & forefinger, ran a hand saw down the length of my thigh somehow, smacked a hole in my top lip on the edge of a coal bunker, hung myself up by my wedding ring off a nail, broke numerous toes numerous times, had that many welding burns I no longer notice until much later & X-ray's of my hands look like an AA road map with all the fine cracks/breaks

But I try to keep out of the kitchen as they are dangerous places best left to the enemy :D
 

Cougar377

Express elevator to hell
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I was knifed in the thigh by one of the dogs, a few years ago.....

Chopping up stuff while the dogs waited attentively in the middle of the kitchen floor. At one point I stepped across the kitchen with the knife in my hand and instinctively I reversed the knife so that the blade was pointing inwards (so no daft mutt would spear himself on it). As I moved, one eager hound (trying to beat the rest) barrelled into me thinking I had scoff in my hand.... pushing the knife into my leg. :confused:

Even I didn't recognise some of the swear words.
 

ogr1

I can still see ya.....
Club Sponsor
I seem to have gotten over the cutting me to bits stage, now it seems burning is the new way to go, whilst cooking dinner for us, I managed to pick up the spud pan with a couple of fingers not covered by the tea towel, did it hurt ?? fek yus !! :( I'm just sat here feeling sorry for myself now and just wondering how many others have done similar dumb things, or is it "just me" :rolleyes: go on, dip yer bread!!

Pussy!:rolleyes:
When I were a lad....
Had a fight with a 2ft bladed chain saw.
As you can imagine...I lost miserably.
Not that I suffered any lasting disabilities,
but the fecker had two bites out me thigh
and I now wear a permanent "V" shape
scar....I did have cold sweats and a few nightmares afterwards, used to wake up just before the chainsaw hit me between the eyes....Weird.
Guess you call that PTSD now.
 

andyBeaker

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My brother broke his elbow when I pushed him over while he was wearing roller skates.

He couldn't play the saxophone for some time.
 

derek kelly

The Deli lama
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If we’re listing injuries.
Broken arm.
Broken nose.
Broken toes.
Broken neck
Dislocated fingers due to volleyball
Several sprains
Several torn ligaments
Countless cuts & bruises.
Frozen shoulder due to Motorbike accident.
Floating cartilage in left knee due to football
 

ianrobbo1

good looking AND modest
Samsung s2 pictures 383.jpg image.jpg
Pussy!:rolleyes:
When I were a lad....
Had a fight with a 2ft bladed chain saw.
As you can imagine...I lost miserably.
Not that I suffered any lasting disabilities,
but the fecker had two bites out me thigh
and I now wear a permanent "V" shape
scar....I did have cold sweats and a few nightmares afterwards, used to wake up just before the chainsaw hit me between the eyes....Weird.
Guess you call that PTSD now.
PLEASE!!! if it self damage you want, :rolleyes:
 

Pow-Lo

Make civil the mind, make savage the body.
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I caught my cock in my zip whilst trying to put it away pissed. It was that little piece of skin that secures the underside of the foreskin to the helmet. I was a late teenager at the time, never seen so much blood.

The real problem was that the cut in the skin was transverse so any tension across it (shagging, bashing one out) would result in the wound re-opening.

The problem was fixed a few years later in St. Thomas’ Hospital, London, with plastic surgery to realign the scar to run longitudinally. My claim to fame is that I was operated on by the only professor of plastics in the UK at the time.
 

Cougar377

Express elevator to hell
Staff member
Moderator
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If we’re listing injuries.
Broken arm.
Broken nose.
Broken toes.
Broken neck
Dislocated fingers due to volleyball
Several sprains
Several torn ligaments
Countless cuts & bruises.
Frozen shoulder due to Motorbike accident.
Floating cartilage in left knee due to football

Pah....you need to get out more.... :D

Fractured skull x 2
Broken nose x 2
Fractured cheekbone
Cracked eye socket
Broken jaw
Broken vertebrae x 3 - 2 at top of the spine fused + 1 mid back
Cracked collar bone - left side
Ribs - lost count
Fingers and thumbs - lost count
Hand bones (metacarpals) - left x 3
Toes x 4 - left foot
Broken lower arm - left x 1 , right x 1
Broken wrist - left x 1 , right x 2
Shattered left fib and tib
Broken ankle - left x 1, right x 1

Honourable mentions include - dislocated shoulder x 2, dislocated fingers and knuckles.
 
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