• Welcome to the new B.I.R.D. Forum. Please be sure to read the "New Member / New Registered ? Please Read" thread in the Coffee Shop. This contains some important information. To become a full member ( £5.90 a year ) simply click on your user name near the top on the right I hope you enjoy the new site ................ Jaws ( John )

Daily Smile thread

Jaws

Corporal CockUp
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I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the shopping
centre and rolled down the car windows to make sure my
great dane pup had fresh air.


She was stretched full-out on the back seat and I wanted to impress
upon her that she must remain there. I walked to the kerb backward,
pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically,
"Now you stay. Do you hear me?"

"Stay! Stay!"


The driver of a nearby car, a pretty young blonde,
gave me a strange look and said,

Why don't you just put the handbrake on'?
 

Jaws

Corporal CockUp
Staff member
Moderator
Club Sponsor
When everybody on earth was dead and waiting to enter Heaven, God appeared and said, "I want the men to make two lines: One line for the men who were true heads of their household, and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women. I want all the women to report to St. Peter."
Soon, the women were gone, and there were two lines of men. The line of the men who were dominated by their wives was 100 miles long and, in the line of men who truly were heads of their household, there was only one man.

God said to the long line, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves; I created you to be the head of your households! You have been disobedient and have not fulfilled your purpose! Of all of you, only one obeyed. Learn from him."

God turned to the one man, "How did you manage to be the only one in this line?"


The man replied, "My wife told me to stand here."
 

Jaws

Corporal CockUp
Staff member
Moderator
Club Sponsor
A blonde girl was talking to her redhead friend about her boyfriend's dandruff problem.
The redhead says "Why don't you give him Head and Shoulders?"
The blonde replies, "How do you give shoulders?"
 
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