Wolfie
Is a lunp
Two Gay Guys are walking through a zoo... They come across the gorillas and notice that the male gorilla has a massive erection. This fascinates the gay men, one of the men just can't bear it any longer, and he reaches into the cage to touch it.
The gorilla grabs him, drags him into the cage and rogers him for six hours, non-stop, while the zoo attendants helplessly stand by.... When he's done, the gorilla throws the man out of the cage. An ambulance is called and the man is taken away to the hospital.
A few days later, his friend visits him in the hospital and asks, "Are you hurt?"
"AM I HURT?" he shouts, "Wouldn't you be??. He hasn't called....he hasn't written....."
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A man rushes home, bursting through the front door of his house yelling to his wife, "Pack your bags baby, I just won the lottery!
All ?10,000,000...." "Woooohooo!!!! That's great sweetie" she replies. "Do I pack for the beach or the mountains?"
"Who cares", he replies, "Just f**k off!"
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A married couple are driving along when they see a wounded skunk on the side of the road. They stop, the wife gets out, picks it up, and brings it into the car.
She says, "Look, it's shivering, it must be cold. What should I do?"
Her husband replies "Put it between your legs to keep it warm."
She asks, "What about the smell?"
He says, "Hold its nose."
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A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made.
"Olympic condoms?" she blurts, "What makes them so special?"
"There are three colours", he replies, "Gold, Silver and Bronze".
"What colour are you going to wear tonight? "she asks cheekily.
"Gold of course", says the man proudly.
The wife responds, "Why don't you wear Silver, it would be nice if you came second for a change!"
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A guy with a black eye boards his plane and sits down in his seat. He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye, too.
He says to him, "Hey this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes; mind if I ask how you got yours?"
The other guy says, "Well, it just happened. It was a tongue twister accident. See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with the most massive breasts in the world was there So, instead of saying, 'I'd like two tickets to Pittsburgh', I accidentally said, 'I'd like two pickets to Tittsburgh'...........So she socked me a good one."
The first guy replied, "Wow! This is unbelievable. Mine was a tongue twister too. I was at the breakfast table this morning and I wanted to say to my wife, 'Please pour me a bowl of Frosties, honey.'
But I accidentally said, 'you ruined my life you fat evil slag'."
The gorilla grabs him, drags him into the cage and rogers him for six hours, non-stop, while the zoo attendants helplessly stand by.... When he's done, the gorilla throws the man out of the cage. An ambulance is called and the man is taken away to the hospital.
A few days later, his friend visits him in the hospital and asks, "Are you hurt?"
"AM I HURT?" he shouts, "Wouldn't you be??. He hasn't called....he hasn't written....."
_____________________________________________________________
A man rushes home, bursting through the front door of his house yelling to his wife, "Pack your bags baby, I just won the lottery!
All ?10,000,000...." "Woooohooo!!!! That's great sweetie" she replies. "Do I pack for the beach or the mountains?"
"Who cares", he replies, "Just f**k off!"
_____________________________________________________________
A married couple are driving along when they see a wounded skunk on the side of the road. They stop, the wife gets out, picks it up, and brings it into the car.
She says, "Look, it's shivering, it must be cold. What should I do?"
Her husband replies "Put it between your legs to keep it warm."
She asks, "What about the smell?"
He says, "Hold its nose."
_____________________________________________________________
A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made.
"Olympic condoms?" she blurts, "What makes them so special?"
"There are three colours", he replies, "Gold, Silver and Bronze".
"What colour are you going to wear tonight? "she asks cheekily.
"Gold of course", says the man proudly.
The wife responds, "Why don't you wear Silver, it would be nice if you came second for a change!"
_____________________________________________________________
A guy with a black eye boards his plane and sits down in his seat. He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye, too.
He says to him, "Hey this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes; mind if I ask how you got yours?"
The other guy says, "Well, it just happened. It was a tongue twister accident. See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with the most massive breasts in the world was there So, instead of saying, 'I'd like two tickets to Pittsburgh', I accidentally said, 'I'd like two pickets to Tittsburgh'...........So she socked me a good one."
The first guy replied, "Wow! This is unbelievable. Mine was a tongue twister too. I was at the breakfast table this morning and I wanted to say to my wife, 'Please pour me a bowl of Frosties, honey.'
But I accidentally said, 'you ruined my life you fat evil slag'."
