• Welcome to the new B.I.R.D. Forum. Please be sure to read the "New Member / New Registered ? Please Read" thread in the Coffee Shop. This contains some important information. To become a full member ( £5.90 a year ) simply click on your user name near the top on the right I hope you enjoy the new site ................ Jaws ( John )

Daily Smile thread

derek kelly

The Deli lama
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My wife threatened to leave me as she says I exagerate too much, I was that shocked I almost tripped over my cock
 

Jaws

Corporal CockUp
Staff member
Moderator
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SMART ASS

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a
well. The animal cried piteously for hours as
the farmer tried to figure out what to do.

Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the
well needed to be covered up anyway;
it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbours to come over
and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began
to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the
donkey realized what was happening and cried
horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he
quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally
looked down the well. He was astonished at what
he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his
back, the donkey was doing something amazing.
he would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbours continued to shovel
dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it
off and take a step up.

Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey
stepped up over the edge of the well and
happily trotted off!

The donkey later came back,
and bit the farmer who had tried to bury him.
The gash from the bite got infected and
the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock..


MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:


When you do something wrong,
and try to cover your ass,
it always comes back to bite you
.
 

Jaws

Corporal CockUp
Staff member
Moderator
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Just getting the GS ready for Italy..............













37511928_10215562895441545_6684404628085276672_n.jpg
 

T.C

Been there, and had one
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Me: Hi. May i get a caramel frappuccino?

Starbucks: Sure. Can I get your name please?

Me: Esteban Julio Ricardo Montoya de la Rosa Ramirez the Third :naughty2:
 

derek kelly

The Deli lama
Club Sponsor
Woman at her husband's funeral.
His best friend leans over & asks "is it ok if I say a word?"
That would be lovely says the widow.
The guy stands up & says "plethora"
The widow through her tears says "thanks, it means a lot"
 

Jaws

Corporal CockUp
Staff member
Moderator
Club Sponsor
A woman asks her husband at breakfast time, "Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit juice and coffee ?"

He declines. "Thanks for asking, but I'm not hungry right now. It's this Viagra," he says. "It's really taken the edge off my appetite."

At lunchtime, she asked him if he would like something. "How about a bowl of soup, homemade muffins or a cheese sandwich ?"

He declines. "The Viagra," he says, "It's really spoiled my need for food."

Come dinnertime, she asks if he wants anything to eat. "Would you like a juicy rib eye steak and some scrumptious apple pie ? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry ?"

He declines again. "No," he says, "it's got to bethe Viagra. I'm still not hungry."

"Well," she says, "Would you mind getting off me ? I'm bloody starving !!"
 

T.C

Been there, and had one
Club Sponsor
I went for an interview at IKEA.

The manager greeted me by saying "come in, make a seat."
 
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