• Welcome to the new B.I.R.D. Forum. Please be sure to read the "New Member / New Registered ? Please Read" thread in the Coffee Shop. This contains some important information. To become a full member ( £5.90 a year ) simply click on your user name near the top on the right I hope you enjoy the new site ................ Jaws ( John )

Daily Smile thread

derek kelly

The Deli lama
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Archie & jock are discussing Jock's up & coming wedding "Aye Jock, so have ye got everthin sorted?" Asked Archie, " oh aye, just been & ordered ma kilt" replied Jock
"What's the tartan?" Asked Archie
"Oh I expect she'll be wearing white" replied Jock.
 

Quiney

Registered User
The Male Cycle


1. When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big tits.



2. When I was 16, I got a girlfriend with big tits, but there was no passion. I decided I needed a passionate girl with zest for life.



3. In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency. She was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. I decided I needed a girl with stability.



4. When I was 25, I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided I needed a girl with some excitement.



5. When I was 28, I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. I decided to find someone with some real ambition.



6. When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious lady with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.



7. I'm older and wiser now & looking for a woman with big tits.
 

Jaws

Corporal CockUp
Staff member
Moderator
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bus-jpg.228251
 

Jaws

Corporal CockUp
Staff member
Moderator
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Paddy says to Mick - I'm ready for a holiday, only this year I'm going to do it a bit different. 3 years ago I went to Spain and Mary got pregnant. 2 years ago I went to Italy and Mary got pregnant. Last year I went to Majorca and Mary got pregnant." Mick asks - So what are you going to do this year?.
" Paddy replies, - I'll take her with me!"
 

Jaws

Corporal CockUp
Staff member
Moderator
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@andybirdless climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God.
Looking up, he asks the Lord. "God, what does a million years mean to you?"
The Lord replies, "A minute."
Smith asks, "And what does a million £pounds mean to you?"
The Lord replies, "A penny."
Smith asks, "Can I have a penny?"
The Lord replies, "In a minute."
 

Jaws

Corporal CockUp
Staff member
Moderator
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Bit unkind that @T.C

Poor horse aint that bad and I bet it has more taste that to fuck that traitor Corbyn ( Unless he fucked him by kicking the shit out of him )
 
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