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Daily Smile thread
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- Start date
ianrobbo1
good looking AND modest
It was 1957. Mike goes to pick up his date, Molly.
Molly’s father Samuel opens the door and invites him in.
He asks to Mike what they’re planning to do on the date.
Mike politely responds that they’ll probably just go to the malt shop or to a drive-in movie.
Molly’s father suggests, “Why don’t you kids go out and screw? I hear all of the kids are doing it.”
Mike was bewildered. “Excuse me, sir?”
“Oh yes, Molly really likes to screw. She’ll screw all night if we let her.”
Molly comes downstairs and announces that she’s ready to go.
About 15 minutes later, a thoroughly disheveled Molly rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her, and shouts at her father, “Dad! The Twist! It’s called the Twist!”
Molly’s father Samuel opens the door and invites him in.
He asks to Mike what they’re planning to do on the date.
Mike politely responds that they’ll probably just go to the malt shop or to a drive-in movie.
Molly’s father suggests, “Why don’t you kids go out and screw? I hear all of the kids are doing it.”
Mike was bewildered. “Excuse me, sir?”
“Oh yes, Molly really likes to screw. She’ll screw all night if we let her.”
Molly comes downstairs and announces that she’s ready to go.
About 15 minutes later, a thoroughly disheveled Molly rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her, and shouts at her father, “Dad! The Twist! It’s called the Twist!”
Two Japanese language students take a job in west of Ireland hotel in an Irish speaking area.
Some months later a guest approached ths manager and complimente him on how well the students spoke Irish.
Shhhh. the manager responded. They think they are learning English.
Some months later a guest approached ths manager and complimente him on how well the students spoke Irish.
Shhhh. the manager responded. They think they are learning English.
Fantastic. How the hell does that work?
It's probably seeing what you want to see
Similar things happen with led lights - if I put them to green in my ensuite everything looks red when I come out into the bedroom.
Similar things happen in pubs.....
ianrobbo1
good looking AND modest
A lady is walking down the street to work and she sees a parrot in a pet store. The parrot says to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly.”
Well, the lady is furious! And she storms past the store to her work. On the way home, she saw the same parrot in the window and the parrot said to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly.” Well, she was incredibly ticked now.
The next day see saw the same parrot and the parrot said to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly.” The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird.
The store manager said, “That’s not good” and promised he wouldn’t say it again. When the lady walked past the store after work the parrot said to her, “Hey lady.” She paused and said, “Yes?” and the bird said, “You know!”
Well, the lady is furious! And she storms past the store to her work. On the way home, she saw the same parrot in the window and the parrot said to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly.” Well, she was incredibly ticked now.
The next day see saw the same parrot and the parrot said to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly.” The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird.
The store manager said, “That’s not good” and promised he wouldn’t say it again. When the lady walked past the store after work the parrot said to her, “Hey lady.” She paused and said, “Yes?” and the bird said, “You know!”
It's probably seeing what you want to see
Similar things happen with led lights - if I put them to green in my ensuite everything looks red when I come out into the bedroom.
Similar things happen in pubs.....
Sort of
If you look at any colour negative for a while and then at a wall you get effect.
ianrobbo1
good looking AND modest
Doctor Sean was in a relationship with his nurse Tanya.Shortly afterward,Tanya told him she was pregnant.
Not wanting his wife to know,Sean gave a sum of money to Tanya and asked her to go to USA and have the baby there.
“But how will I let you know the baby is born?”she asked. He replied, “Just send me a postcard and write “hamburger” on the back. I’ll take care of expenses.”
Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to USA.
Half a year went by and then one day the Sean’s wife called him at the office and said, “Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail box today from USA, and I don’t understand what it means.”
The doctor said, “Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to you”. Later that evening the doctor came home, read the postcard, fell to the floor with a massive heart attack.
Paramedics rushed him to the ER. The lead medic stayed back to comfort the wife. He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest.
So the doctor’s wife picked up the card from her bag and read, “Hamburger,Hamburger,Hamburger,Hamburger.Two with sausage and meatballs, two without.”
Not wanting his wife to know,Sean gave a sum of money to Tanya and asked her to go to USA and have the baby there.
“But how will I let you know the baby is born?”she asked. He replied, “Just send me a postcard and write “hamburger” on the back. I’ll take care of expenses.”
Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to USA.
Half a year went by and then one day the Sean’s wife called him at the office and said, “Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail box today from USA, and I don’t understand what it means.”
The doctor said, “Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to you”. Later that evening the doctor came home, read the postcard, fell to the floor with a massive heart attack.
Paramedics rushed him to the ER. The lead medic stayed back to comfort the wife. He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest.
So the doctor’s wife picked up the card from her bag and read, “Hamburger,Hamburger,Hamburger,Hamburger.Two with sausage and meatballs, two without.”
During my physical examination, my Doctor asked me about my physical activity level.
I described a typical day, "Well, yesterday afternoon, I took a five-hour walk about 7 miles through some pretty rough terrain. I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through brambles. I got sand in my shoes and my eyes. I avoided standing on a snake. I climbed several rocky hills. I took a few 'leaks' behind some big trees.
The mental stress of it all left me shattered. At the end of it all, I drank eight beers."
Inspired by the story, the Doctor said, "You must be one hell of an outdoors man !! A real Commando !!"
"No," I replied, "just a crap golfer !!"
I described a typical day, "Well, yesterday afternoon, I took a five-hour walk about 7 miles through some pretty rough terrain. I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through brambles. I got sand in my shoes and my eyes. I avoided standing on a snake. I climbed several rocky hills. I took a few 'leaks' behind some big trees.
The mental stress of it all left me shattered. At the end of it all, I drank eight beers."
Inspired by the story, the Doctor said, "You must be one hell of an outdoors man !! A real Commando !!"
"No," I replied, "just a crap golfer !!"
ianrobbo1
good looking AND modest
Trust me that wont be often enough!!I see he had to be shown twice!
