Daily Smile thread

Discussion in 'Coffee Shop' started by Jaws, Aug 8, 2017.

  1. Jaws

    Jaws Forum Admin Staff Member

    I’ve just received a Rolex for my birthday from a couple of my friends, who are lesbians. I guess they misunderstood me when I told them I wanna watch.
     
    andybirdless likes this.
  2. Jaws

    Jaws Forum Admin Staff Member

    The Highways Agency found over 200 dead crows on the M4 near Bridgend recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be from vehicular impacts. However, during analysis it was noted that varying colours of paints appeared on the ...bird's beaks and claws. By analysing these paint residues it was found that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with lorrys, while only 2% were killed by cars.
    The Agency then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills. The Ornithological Behaviorist quickly concluded that when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow to warn of danger. They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "Lorry"
     
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  3. andybirdless

    andybirdless Moderator Staff Member Moderator Club Sponsor

  4. andybirdless

    andybirdless Moderator Staff Member Moderator Club Sponsor

    Question from the Moneysavingexpert.com annual census....

    ---------------------

    What religion do you identify with?


    I’m an atheist

    I’m agnostic

    Christian (Church of England)

    Christian (Catholic)

    Christian (other)

    Buddhist

    Hindu

    Humanist

    Jedi

    Jewish

    Muslim

    Pagan

    Sikh

    Other

    Would rather not say
    ---------------------------------------------

    And to think that when I was at work we all got an email saying it was not helpful to put 'Jedi Knight' as religion when answering employee surveys. By the time I left the Jedi make up of the staff was well over 40%. Can't think how that happened........
     
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  5. andybirdless

    andybirdless Moderator Staff Member Moderator Club Sponsor

    And kept me up all night. And I still don't get it.
     
  6. Jaws

    Jaws Forum Admin Staff Member

    Here is a clue rather not so much a clue as an explanation
    View the words as a statement of fact
     
  7. andybirdless

    andybirdless Moderator Staff Member Moderator Club Sponsor

    Ah, now I get it.
    ah, now I get it.

    IMG_0382.JPG
     
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  8. andybirdless

    andybirdless Moderator Staff Member Moderator Club Sponsor

    IMG_0383.JPG IMG_0384.JPG IMG_0385.JPG IMG_0386.JPG IMG_0388.JPG
     
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  9. T.C

    T.C Well-Known Member Club Sponsor

  10. Dickiebird

    Dickiebird Active Member Club Sponsor

    As in " How High is a chinaman and Who is his brother " ?
     
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  11. andybirdless

    andybirdless Moderator Staff Member Moderator Club Sponsor

    IMG_0390.JPG IMG_0391.JPG IMG_0392.JPG IMG_0393.JPG IMG_0394.JPG IMG_0395.JPG
     
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  12. T.C

    T.C Well-Known Member Club Sponsor

  13. andybirdless

    andybirdless Moderator Staff Member Moderator Club Sponsor

  14. andybirdless

    andybirdless Moderator Staff Member Moderator Club Sponsor

    I might be missing so,etching John - your last couple of posts have shown as "IMG" in text only?
     
    Centaur likes this.
  15. T.C

    T.C Well-Known Member Club Sponsor

    Same for me as well
     
  16. Jaws

    Jaws Forum Admin Staff Member

  17. Jaws

    Jaws Forum Admin Staff Member

  18. Jaws

    Jaws Forum Admin Staff Member

    upload_2017-9-16_23-23-28.png
     
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  19. Jaws

    Jaws Forum Admin Staff Member

    All sorted!
     
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  20. andybirdless

    andybirdless Moderator Staff Member Moderator Club Sponsor

    You are missing 'so,etching' as well?
     

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