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Welcome to the new B.I.R.D. Forum. Please be sure to read the "New Member / New Registered ? Please Read" thread in the Coffee Shop. This contains some important information. To become a full member ( £5.90 a year ) simply click on your user name near the top on the right I hope you enjoy the new site ................ Jaws ( John )
Daily Smile thread
- Thread starter Jaws
- Start date
ianrobbo1
good looking AND modest
So you're a senior citizen and the government says no health care for you, what do you do? This plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot 2 MP's and 2 judges. Obviously, this means you will be sent to prison where you will get 3 meals a day, a roof over your head, and all the health care you need! New teeth, new glasses? No problem. New hip, knees, kidney, lungs, heart? All covered. And who will be paying for all of this? The same government that just told you that you are too old for health care. Plus, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any income taxes any more.
IS THIS BRITAIN GREAT OR WHAT?
IS THIS BRITAIN GREAT OR WHAT?
In 1970's Birmingham, Noddy Holder walks into a trendy boutique.
“Awroight, our Nodday!” Says the assistant. “‘Ow’m yow doin’? Oi ay seen yow in yonks!”
“Boston’ bab! Wot yow got for us this wick?”
“Nod, oi’ve got some brilliant gear for yer. ‘ave a look at these loon pants - them’s all the go!”
“Great - oi'll have them! Wot else you got?”
“Well there’s these massive platform boots - 12 inches tall, ‘em am!”
“Aaarrr, em’s great, them am! Oi’ll ‘ave them an’ all!”
“And d’yer fancy a kipper tie?”
Alwroight then - milk and two sugars”........
“Awroight, our Nodday!” Says the assistant. “‘Ow’m yow doin’? Oi ay seen yow in yonks!”
“Boston’ bab! Wot yow got for us this wick?”
“Nod, oi’ve got some brilliant gear for yer. ‘ave a look at these loon pants - them’s all the go!”
“Great - oi'll have them! Wot else you got?”
“Well there’s these massive platform boots - 12 inches tall, ‘em am!”
“Aaarrr, em’s great, them am! Oi’ll ‘ave them an’ all!”
“And d’yer fancy a kipper tie?”
Alwroight then - milk and two sugars”........
ianrobbo1
good looking AND modest
So Ann Summers have come up with this years female "must-have" Xmas gift - it locates the g-spot & clitoris in seconds. Yes lads, the TwatNav is here!!
My next-door neighbour listens to some really good music.
Whether the horrible twat wants to or not.
I was at the bar in a club when a fat girl came up to me and said with a wink, 'If you can guess my favourite drink, I'll let you buy me one!'I turned to the barman and said, 'Pint of lager for me, and a gallon of melted butter for the pig.
Sorry seems to be the hardest word to say...
Unless you're Chinese, then it's "squirrel"
My next-door neighbour listens to some really good music.
Whether the horrible twat wants to or not.
I was at the bar in a club when a fat girl came up to me and said with a wink, 'If you can guess my favourite drink, I'll let you buy me one!'I turned to the barman and said, 'Pint of lager for me, and a gallon of melted butter for the pig.
Sorry seems to be the hardest word to say...
Unless you're Chinese, then it's "squirrel"
